I'm Funny When I'm High...

I've got a wisdom tooth coming in. Just one, on the bottom right of my mouth, so it;s the bottom left if you're looking at it facing me, but whatever. Anyways, tooth. It hurts like a mother, considering it's punching it's way out of my face pointy-side first and all. So my solution is lots of Orajel and Tylenol, except all we have in our house is the low-dose chewable orange-flavored stuff, so I have to take like eight for them to work. And I think I've accidentally eaten a good amount of Orajel.

Anyways, I accidentally put too much Orajel in my face, and I realized that I have gums. I mean, it's not like I didn't know they were there before, but your tongue is always touching them and they're like walls in your mouth. I told this to Jetplane and she said they were rather blockade-esque. See, people? This woman understands me.

Also, teeth are really sharp. Like, I-have-many-bladed-knives-in-my-mouth sharp. Knives and walls. How am I the only one to notice this??

Continuing with my recent revelations, lizards are fucking ninjas. (To clarify, I meant to use 'fucking' as an adjective, not a verb, because if I used it as a verb it would imply the ninjas and lizards are getting it on, which is not what I meant at all.) But seriously, have you ever just watched a lizard? They can jump like, really far and shit. And hang upside down from sticks.

<3,
Lani

P.S. Upon reviewing this, I realized that I have probably, in the last few days, taken enough Tylenol to kill an elephant and accidentally eaten about half my tube of "Generic Oral Anesthetic". I am going to post this anyways because I am hilarious when I'm doped up. Heh.

P.P.S. I feel I should clarify the title. I'm not high, nor have I ever been, but "I'm Funny When I'm High" has a nicer ring than "I'm Mildy Entertaining on Lots of Chewable Tylenol".


P.P.P.S. I think maybe the Tylenol still hasn't worn off.

IMPORTANT

I pulled a tick off Juliet the other day and now her neck is swelling up from the bite. And it's a really big area that's swollen, too. Like, it's the size of my hand, big.

I don't know what, if any, diseases ticks can transfer to horses, but I'm scared, guys.

So, pray for my horse please? I don't care if you're not religious, do it anyway. This is my horse we're talking about.

</3,
Lani

Change Is Stupid

My sister just informed me that our guest room is going to be renovated into an office for my father. Wtf I didn't see this coming. Okay, okay, I can deal with this, this doesn't really affect me.

And they want to sell my bed and replace it with the one in the guest room.

Like hell. I like my bed, thanks.

I don't do change very well.

<3,
Lani

Dear Mom,