Monday, December 19, 2011

Leadership English, A Class of Pure Awesomeness

     Hello, all. I saw my friend had posted on her blog about a list we had made, and since it wouldn’t let me comment, I decided just to add my own commentary to the entire thing. Why? It’s late, I can, and I don’t want to edit my three-page summary of the Star Trek movie just yet (the newest one that J.J. Abrams directed). Yes, I took notes while watching Star Trek, and I am going to blog about it. I am a nerd. But hey, Star Trek is awesome!
     So, my friend's original post will be in black, with my commentary in red.
     I am in English Leadership. It is beyond pre-AP, only 8 people in our class, and 6 of them are from my middle school, the GT magnet known as W.A.V.E. Out of the remaining other 2 (left, a few have transferred out) one of them is actually dating a fellow WAVEr and really should have gone to WAVE. Not to mention our teacher is strange, at best. Anyway, one of my good friends, known as HorseGirl on here (that’s me!), and I made this list that describes most of the weird stuff in our class. Mostly her, but I was thinking about doing it, she just beat me to it. I’m cool like that.
Things That Can Only Happen in Leadership English
-Your class has 8 people
+6 of which you've known for 3 years
-People give each other nerdy nicknames from Harry Potter or Doctor Who
and How to Train Your Dragon

+ Me=Tomato
/Strawberry Head
+ Griffin=Witherwings
+ HorseGirl= Umbridge Bane (we were trying to think of a centaur from HP not male but... )
+ Emma= Amelia Pond
and Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III

-When someone (me... *bows*) brings a HP club form to class, the whole entire class signs
and I have already called Head of Slytherin.
-You are told Yellow Peril is coming to eat your children (my racism (yes we each got assigned a topic about racism) was about yellow peril and it was my "interesting introduction"...)
-Everyone is entitled to Zhenya's food
-The entire class is pulled into a "zool" battle between Zena (me, people) and HorseGirl (this story is for another time)
XD
-People will spend inordinate amounts of time relaying Doctor Who episodes
because Doctor Who is amazing.
-Dr. Fire
(that’s his nickname? LawlJ) (We once made an art project for a school-wide advisory competition) throws things at you if you put your head down
-You can break down crying after a suicide video, and everyone is really nice about it, and understands exactly.
I was crying right there with you.

-People know what the heck TPSP is
- You learn to shoot rubber bands, from the teacher, and the whole class has an epic rubber band battle
-The word "um" is a personal affront to your intelligence
-"Huzzah" being exclaimed after fixing technical difficulties is normal
-left-handed people are forced to write with their right hand
-your personal computer mouse isn't made fun of
out loud.
-Dyeing your hair is considered
 awesome (considered? There is no considered.)
-Art is made of water bottles.
This was in advisory, not English. I, sadly, am not in Dr. Fire’s advisory.

-Technology hates Emma
-All blanks are filled with "fight"
Once again, advisory. I’m in choir advisory, and we knew the entire fight song, thankyouverymuch.
-'Sophie Baker' and 'Elena Klein' became 'Zophie Bake' and 'Elan Klien' because;
-YOU MISSPELL YOUR OWN NAME^
You know what? Shut up.
-Lying on the floor, you suddenly hear Witherwings lying mirror from you. Everyone is nap time!
-You (meaning, well, me) during the announcements randomly decide to stare at someone intently, and then stick your tongue out quickly. Which turns into HorseGirl/UmbridgeBane doing it back, which causes Witherwings' gf [nickname to be decided] to look at us funny, causing us to do it to her until it spreads to the whole class. Oops.
-You bless your chairs in the way you learned in theater, the noise you get from sticking your tongue out and blowing...
Basically, you make a fart noise.
-When Zhenya asks for a spoon, HorseGirl mentions she gave me a collapsible spork that I carry around in my backpack. When I hunt for the spork -I keep it in my toy packet of my backpack- I end up pulling all the toy dinosaurs out (colorful rubber, 3 large light up, and some glow in the dark ones) along with two hotwheels cars, one a school bus, and the other a DeLorean (yes, from Back to the Future). This prompts the whole class to crowd around my desk and play with them all. Witherwings starts naming all the dinosaurs (no, not Bob, but along the lines of Pterodactyl. Triceratops. ect. ect.)
Said dinosaurs were later given to the class as Christmas gifts.
-You discover all psychological issues can be traced back to your mother.
Seeing how f-ed up I am, what does that say about my mom?
-Sitting on desks is acceptable and expected
-Laughing at cheesy special effects at making fun of movies is fun, until the teacher returns and the one person left talking is sent to quiet exile
-*looking at report card* Interacts well with others in ape-hug? I never talk in that class!
Same for me, but with Geometry.
<3,
Lani

The Meaning of Friendship

     Friendship: Where you lend people your shoes so they can walk into the bathroom without contaminating their Batman socks.
Sadly, my friend's socks don't actually look like this.
     Said socks belong to Friend-Who-Needs-a-Nickname. I could call her Strawberry Head, since her hair is dyed the color of Cheerwine (or so she tells me), but when she dyes it another color it wouldn't fit. Anyways, she's the one who writes Deeply Confusing, Highly Amusing.
<3,
Lani

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Creeper, Begone!



     My way? "Dude! You're a fucking creeper!" I don't actually have the balls to say this, except when I'm really pissed, or I'm in one of my 'manic' states (which refers to the bipolar disorder that I'm fairly sure I have, but more on that later).
     Got this off of Cracked.com. I love the website, it's freaking hilarious. My excuse for posting so much tonight is that a) it's winter break b) I'm bored c) I can, okay?
     Honestly, I'd love to write for Cracked someday. They're hilarious, and I wish I could be funny like that. You know, I think another reason I'm posting so much crap is that I want to write about what's currently hanging over my head (possible bipolar, which my parents won't believe that I have), but at the same time I'm being chicken. Being possibly bipolar scares the shit out of me. Especially since I've done my research and I'm fairly sure I'm correct.
     You know you're a doctor's daughter when you not only diagnose yourself with a psychiatric disorder, but you have the research to prove it.

Things to Know About Me (In Order of Importance)

1. I am a sold-out crazy Christian. Deal. With. It. Nothing you say will change that.
2. I'm horse-crazy. Riding is my life, and therefore more important than everything, including you.
3. I'm a choir kid. Don't try to shut me up.
4. I'm quiet until I feel comfortable around you, then I'm fairly talkative.
5. I try my hardest to be accepting and not judge. Don't abuse it. Also, I'd like that in return. Please.
6. I used to have self-confidence issues and I was scared of a lot, socially speaking. Then I realized I handle 1200 lb animals and jump 4 ft obstacles. Shit ain't scary anymore.

I'm on a roll tonight!
<3,
Lani

The As-of-Yet-Untitled Notebook of Awesomeness

     I have a purple notebook in which I record my random thoughts, funny quotations, and whatever crap happens to be in the forefront of my mind. There's some funny stuff in there, so I think I might put some of it on here. Because I can and no one listens to me anyways.
<3,
Lani

I Do Have Friends!

     You know, I don't know why I even bother doing this sometimes. Looking through my stats, the website that's most visited my page sells dentures or something. *sighhhhhhhh*
      Anyways, my I was looking through my friends blog Deeply Confusing, Highly Amusing, which cracked me up, and I saw my nickname is HorseGirl. I completely approve.
      But then again, the only people to read my blog are machines, so I'm pretty much talking to myself, but I do that anyways, so not a whole lot is new. But, ignore my unhappy rant, I'm possibly slipping back into depression. So, carry on.
<3,
Lani

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Metaphors and Diarrhea

     When someone says "I've got my shit together", they are implying that while they have their shit together, you do not (and they are therefore better than you). If your shit is not together (figuratively), then it must be all over the place. When your shit is all over the place, you have diarrhea.
     So, when someone condescendingly tells you that they have their shit together, are they trying to say that you have metaphorical diarrhea?
<3,
Lani