Anyone care to hear about my fail of a love life? No? TOO BAD, SUCKAH. Anyways. So there's this guy I like. Let's call him Romeo, becaue he is the least romantic, most romantically oblivious guy ever, and irony amuses me. So, I sit with him and Ninja at luch, and he gave me a piece of choclate yesterday. I returned the favor today (but I had one for Ninja and Mandolin as well beacause I'm a wimp. And I love my friends.) I've known Romeo since 5th grade, when we were best friends. Now that I look back, I think I might have a little bit of a crush on him back then. We went to different junior highs, and when I saw him at the end of 8th grade, my first thought was Wow, he got cute. My choir buddies don't agree with me, and I spend my time with my other friends doing stuff besides talking about boys, like preparing for the zombie apocalypse. But seriously, in choir, everyone only talks about boys. -__- I can only stay in Teenage Girl Mode for so long.
One of the girls in choir is my buddy. who we'll call Pug because that's what I think of every time I hear her last name. Romeo is her ex. She knows I like him and she's okay with it because we'd "be so cute!!! I mean, you're both so awkward! You'd be perfect together!" Thanks, Pug. Anyways, she dumped Romeo because he was 'awkward'. She did it over a text and broke his heart. She seems relativley unconcerned by this. This makes me want to give Romeo a hug (but I won't, cause I think that'd freak him out).
I'll probably write more about this later, because I'm tired right now. So adios.
<3,
Lani
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
A Run-In With the Law...
I went over to the house of my best friend TennisChild yesterday. I haven't seen her in a while, so that was nice. Being teenage girls, we went to bed at llike 4:30. My friend's older sister was home from college and had one of her friends over. At around 11:15, the friend, TennisChild, and I all went on a walk. Yeah, it was dark and whatever, but it was around the neigborhood. After like a quarter of an hour, this cop pulls up behind us and tells us we need to go home (apparently there was a curfew). We say yes sir and head back. We walk half a block, he pulls up behind us again, and makes us get in his car so he can take us home.
At this point, we're all freaked out and don't particularly want to get in the car, but he's a police officer, so there's not much we can do. He takes us back to my friends house, lectures her mom about the curfew and leaves.
The curfew in TennisChild's neighborhood is from 12:01 to 5:00. The policeman picked us up at 12:03. TennisChild and I are both only one year too young to be exempt from curfew, and we were walking with TennisChild's sister's friend, who was 19. Wow...
Still, I was a freaked out. The man didn't show us any sort of identification to prove he was a cop, we only knew because his car had 'police' written discreetly on the side, and he had a patch on his shirt. If he'd found out I wasn't TennisGirl's sister and called my mother... I would have been in such deep shit. *shudders* But anyways, that was the most interesting thing that happened to me over break. Hm.
<3,
Lani
At this point, we're all freaked out and don't particularly want to get in the car, but he's a police officer, so there's not much we can do. He takes us back to my friends house, lectures her mom about the curfew and leaves.
The curfew in TennisChild's neighborhood is from 12:01 to 5:00. The policeman picked us up at 12:03. TennisChild and I are both only one year too young to be exempt from curfew, and we were walking with TennisChild's sister's friend, who was 19. Wow...
Still, I was a freaked out. The man didn't show us any sort of identification to prove he was a cop, we only knew because his car had 'police' written discreetly on the side, and he had a patch on his shirt. If he'd found out I wasn't TennisGirl's sister and called my mother... I would have been in such deep shit. *shudders* But anyways, that was the most interesting thing that happened to me over break. Hm.
<3,
Lani
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Holy Shit Guys, It's a Different Year Now
2011 just ended. I spent the last few minutes on my computer, not doing anything important. 2011 was a pretty good year. It had its ups and downs, but now it's 2012. Just typing that makes me feel badass. Prepare for the zombie apocalypse that will occur Dec. 21 if Ninja is to be believed. Anyways, I don't have any goals for the new year. I mean, there's stuff I want to do, but I don't have any New Year's Resolutions. People seem to think that just because you decide to do something Jan. 1, you'll have 10x the commitment. Trust me, making goals works all year round. Anyways, enough of my lameness. Happy New Year! :)<3,
Lani
Edit: Damnit, Google's two hours behind my time! It's 2012 where I am, I promise.
Lani
Edit: Damnit, Google's two hours behind my time! It's 2012 where I am, I promise.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Level 14 Ability Gained- Swearing Like a Sailor for Thirty Minutes Straight!
I was going to post a long, pointless ramble about the things that make me who I am. I was going reflect on how when my mom calls me downstairs and I reply "coming!" I really mean "I have heard and acknowledge your request. I'll come when I'm good and ready." (That last sentence sounds wrong...), and the fact that if people were telepathic, my life would suck. If people knew all of what goes on in my head, they'd have me institutionalized (they're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me away). But then my mom made fail-fondue out of partially melted chocolate chips and I decided I like chocolate more than writing about what a freak I am. So, instead, here's what life is like in my family.
Blondie: Here, Lani, drizzle chocolate on your marshmallow. It makes it pretty.
Me: I don't so pretty. I just get as much freaking chocolate as I can.
Mom: Lani, watch your language.
Me: 'Freaking' isn't a swear word.
Mom: Still, your language has gotten worse.
Me: You should hear me when I run...
It's true. Not only can I run for half an hour straight, I can swear like a sailor the entire time. Hence the title. And on an unrelated note, if you listen to 'They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha-Haa' backwards, it's creepy as HELL.
<3,
Lani
P.S. I finished reading through the blog of a video game character, and may I just say that I am extremely disappointed? I mean, to give up on a fundamental part of who you are... I understand the negative effects it induced, but my depression has given me one hell of a time and I wouldn't just do away with it. If I was to make a change that drastic, I would have forego above-average intelligence (although I'm still an idiot), stop mood swings, stop being cynical and sarcastic, and stop being introverted. I've done some of my best humor writing while depressed and cynical. I wouldn't trade it for normality. And I am disappointed in you, video game character who I've already mentioned, for doing so.
Blondie: Here, Lani, drizzle chocolate on your marshmallow. It makes it pretty.
Me: I don't so pretty. I just get as much freaking chocolate as I can.
Mom: Lani, watch your language.
Me: 'Freaking' isn't a swear word.
Mom: Still, your language has gotten worse.
Me: You should hear me when I run...
It's true. Not only can I run for half an hour straight, I can swear like a sailor the entire time. Hence the title. And on an unrelated note, if you listen to 'They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha-Haa' backwards, it's creepy as HELL.
<3,
Lani
P.S. I finished reading through the blog of a video game character, and may I just say that I am extremely disappointed? I mean, to give up on a fundamental part of who you are... I understand the negative effects it induced, but my depression has given me one hell of a time and I wouldn't just do away with it. If I was to make a change that drastic, I would have forego above-average intelligence (although I'm still an idiot), stop mood swings, stop being cynical and sarcastic, and stop being introverted. I've done some of my best humor writing while depressed and cynical. I wouldn't trade it for normality. And I am disappointed in you, video game character who I've already mentioned, for doing so.
HELPING with World DESTRUCTION!!!1!!!!!oneone
We have a 'playroom' in our house that I resolutely refer to as the 'gameroom' because I am not five. Earlier this year, we decided that it should be remodeled (we being my mother, sister, and me). Our plan was
a) paint the walls. There's like wood paneling on the lowest three feet of the wall. Blondie and I agreed on blue, and we picked out a few option that are currently taped to the wall.
b) move the old, dying leather couch from the living room (downstairs) to the gameroom (upstairs). This was accomplished, and serves as proof that I am fucking superwoman.
c) get rid of the mini table and chairs and pastel pink chairs that are meant for three-year olds having tea parties with their imaginary friends. On a rather unrelated, rambling note, I always used the table and chairs as a fort, and just climbed on the shelf. Instead of tea parties, I went on top-secret missions to save the world with my imaginary friends. I was a badass child.
ANYHOO. My mother does not want to get rid of the 'play furniture', and would rather paint the walls brown. This would result in brown walls, brown cabinets, brown couch, and brown carpet.
I have been told that I need to 'be a part of the family' and 'interact with others' and not 'hide away' because my mother 'wants to help' with my attempts at 'world destruction'. If it's not obvious I made that last one up, you need a Gibbs slap. Repeatedly. If you didn't get that, remove yourself from my (online) presence immediately and go watch NCIS. So, I am expected to 'interact with the family' and 'pull my weight' and 'contribute', but I am not consulted about stuff and my opinions have no value. And my mother wonders why I stay in my room all day. -________-
<3,
Lani (who is rather pissed)
P.S. I am most likely going to dump a whole bunch of ramblings on here. Be prepared.
P.P.S. My amazing cousin introduced me to Psychonauts, a game of epicness. Like the good little fangirl I tend to be, I have entertained myself with the blogs of Sasha Nein and Milla Vodello, my two favorite characters, who also happen to be my favorite pairing. There is also a rather large quantity of fanart. I know what you're thinking... shut up. T.T If you know what Psychonauts is, you have earned my undying love. Congrats.
a) paint the walls. There's like wood paneling on the lowest three feet of the wall. Blondie and I agreed on blue, and we picked out a few option that are currently taped to the wall.
b) move the old, dying leather couch from the living room (downstairs) to the gameroom (upstairs). This was accomplished, and serves as proof that I am fucking superwoman.
c) get rid of the mini table and chairs and pastel pink chairs that are meant for three-year olds having tea parties with their imaginary friends. On a rather unrelated, rambling note, I always used the table and chairs as a fort, and just climbed on the shelf. Instead of tea parties, I went on top-secret missions to save the world with my imaginary friends. I was a badass child.
ANYHOO. My mother does not want to get rid of the 'play furniture', and would rather paint the walls brown. This would result in brown walls, brown cabinets, brown couch, and brown carpet.
I have been told that I need to 'be a part of the family' and 'interact with others' and not 'hide away' because my mother 'wants to help' with my attempts at 'world destruction'. If it's not obvious I made that last one up, you need a Gibbs slap. Repeatedly. If you didn't get that, remove yourself from my (online) presence immediately and go watch NCIS. So, I am expected to 'interact with the family' and 'pull my weight' and 'contribute', but I am not consulted about stuff and my opinions have no value. And my mother wonders why I stay in my room all day. -________-
<3,
Lani (who is rather pissed)
P.S. I am most likely going to dump a whole bunch of ramblings on here. Be prepared.
P.P.S. My amazing cousin introduced me to Psychonauts, a game of epicness. Like the good little fangirl I tend to be, I have entertained myself with the blogs of Sasha Nein and Milla Vodello, my two favorite characters, who also happen to be my favorite pairing. There is also a rather large quantity of fanart. I know what you're thinking... shut up. T.T If you know what Psychonauts is, you have earned my undying love. Congrats.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Home for the Holidays
So, my family is in for the holidays. "Family" consists of me, my mom, dad, and my seven-year-old sister who we'll call Blondie, my grandfather, aunt, uncle, and cousin. My cousin is exactly eleven months older than I am. We'll call her Zarina. Things always get interesting when you put the two of us in the same room/chat room, since we're both pretty crazy (well, I'm completley wacko, while she still retains some semblance of sanity). Examples:
"Your soul is a funny noise." *time passes* "The soul! It made another noise!"~Zarina
"Did I drop you on your head when you were a baby and then forget about it?"~Me to Blondie
Oh, and FYI 'Zarina' is pronounced "Zar-een-uh". There's actually a backstory that explains how she came to be known by that name, but it's long and I shall save it for another time. Until then, I shall hang out with my fairly epic family.
<3,
Lani
"Your soul is a funny noise." *time passes* "The soul! It made another noise!"~Zarina
"Did I drop you on your head when you were a baby and then forget about it?"~Me to Blondie
Oh, and FYI 'Zarina' is pronounced "Zar-een-uh". There's actually a backstory that explains how she came to be known by that name, but it's long and I shall save it for another time. Until then, I shall hang out with my fairly epic family.
<3,
Lani
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
When Niche Marketing Fails. Utterly.
Having read Mxy's blog post about screwing with the people who send you spam emails, I decided to try it for myself with the most out of place email in my inbox- an add for penis enlargement. I'm a girl.
The original email:
MaxGentleman Enlargement Pills have been featured across major media outlets around the world, including ESP and Fox News, with dozens of positive reviews.
This is the only Male enlargement supplement that has been PROVEN in clinical trials to enlarge your penis – safely, quickly, and importantly – PERMANENTLY.
Here were the results in 5,000 randomized male subjects who took MaxGentleman for 6 months:
* Increase in penis length by 1-3 inches
* Increase in penis width by 20%.
* Aids in preventing Premature Ejaculation.
* Achieved longer, rock hard erections
* All gains in penis length and width were 100% permanent
MaxGentleman Enlargement pills are also:
* 100% Herbal, 100% Safe
* Doctor Approved and Recommended!
* The only Penis Enlargement pill PROVEN in clinical trials
* No Expensive Doctor Visit Required
* Very Discrete packaging and billing
* 100% Satisfaction & Money Back Guarantee
* 3 FREE Bottles Of MaxGentleman
* Secure State of the Art SSL Encryption.
My reply:
Seriously though, that's weird.
So, did I scare you at all? I sort of scared myself. This is my small, irrelevant post until I can finish the synopsis of Star Trek that I'm working on. Oh, and I only got an error message in return from Max*Gentleman. How rude.
<3,
Lani
The original email:
MaxGentleman Enlargement Pills have been featured across major media outlets around the world, including ESP and Fox News, with dozens of positive reviews.
This is the only Male enlargement supplement that has been PROVEN in clinical trials to enlarge your penis – safely, quickly, and importantly – PERMANENTLY.
Here were the results in 5,000 randomized male subjects who took MaxGentleman for 6 months:
* Increase in penis length by 1-3 inches
* Increase in penis width by 20%.
* Aids in preventing Premature Ejaculation.
* Achieved longer, rock hard erections
* All gains in penis length and width were 100% permanent
MaxGentleman Enlargement pills are also:
* 100% Herbal, 100% Safe
* Doctor Approved and Recommended!
* The only Penis Enlargement pill PROVEN in clinical trials
* No Expensive Doctor Visit Required
* Very Discrete packaging and billing
* 100% Satisfaction & Money Back Guarantee
* 3 FREE Bottles Of MaxGentleman
* Secure State of the Art SSL Encryption.
My reply:
Excuse me:
You seem to be laboring under the delsusion that I am a strange female mutant with male genatalia. I can assure you that no such condition has afflicted me, as I would have surely noticed. If I may, might I inquire as to why you are offering to enlarge the non-existent cock of a teenage girl? That is really quite disturbing.
Have an awful day,
<I'm not giving you my name, creeper.>
Seriously though, that's weird.
So, did I scare you at all? I sort of scared myself. This is my small, irrelevant post until I can finish the synopsis of Star Trek that I'm working on. Oh, and I only got an error message in return from Max*Gentleman. How rude.
<3,
Lani
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