Today's post is directed to a boy. Specifically, the boyfriend of one of my friends. Now, Mr. Boyfriend, I would like to have a word with you. You sometimes make your girlfriend feel like crap. This is what I call "not okay". Your girlfriend is a wonderful, amazing person and you, Mr. Boyfriend, are extremely lucky to have her in your life.
Then there's me. I'm the friend who thinks that you need a kick to the balls. Not just one kick either, no, but repeated nut-shots. In fact, I think I need to buy you a calendar and pencil in days where I will come find you and then proceed to knee you in the nuts. Believe me, it's nothing personal. I don't dislike you, I just think that if you were to be regularly kicked in the balls, would reduce your jerk-like tendencies. Ah, don't deny it. Every one acts like a jerk sometimes. But I think, with the application of ball-kicking, we could reduce those tendencies in you, Mr. Boyfriend.
I look forward to your response.
<3,
Lani
P.S. Just in case your wondering, I kick really, really hard.
P.P.S. Your girlfriend read this before I posted it. She was speechless for a moment, then said she loved me.
Peanut butter sandwiches. So many peanut butter sandwiches.
ReplyDeleteHehe I can soooooo picture you buying a calander writing down the dates and the going through with it. Btw can you bring that comp book that I wrote in? I need to copy those stories down.
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