A Letter

Dear People Who Create Viruses for Computers,

                I would very much like to stab you in the face with a fork. Very, very much. You see, I’ve got a virus that screws with my internet connection, causes shut downs, and other really annoying shit. I have, in fact, located the files that contain the virus, but I can’t delete them. Thanks, assholes.

                Why do you do this? Go play World of Warcraft or something, MMORPGs are more fun than causing distress to high school students. Is this what you want? Do you want to make teenage girls unhappy?

                You made me cry, stupid virus-making people. I’m sitting in my room crying and it’s all your fault.

                Except I’m not actually crying. Lying, yes. Crying, no. I’m crying on the inside, okay? Don’t judge me.

                Lemme start over.

                It has come to my attention that my computer has become afflicted with a virus and it makes me extremely unhappy because I cannot figure out how to delete the damn thing. Apparently, the creator of the malware has made it so that my computer freezes every time I run an antivirus program. Clever little wanker.

                My computer, though, is very important to me. It is where I do most of my writing, and my writing is my art, my coping mechanism, my escape. My computer is also where I learn, where I interact, where I learn how to be a normal human being and actually talk to other human beings, because I usually can’t do that very well in real life. My computer is very valuable to me.

                So, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go and fuck it up. Please and thank you.

                </3,

                Lani

P.S. I’d still like to stab you in the face with a fork.