A Day At Work. Or Some Creative Variation Thereof.

It's 5:40 in the morning, what am I doing up? Today, I'm going to work with my dad. Hell if I know why, my mom keeps bugging me to do so.

So yeah, I'm up, it's ungodly early, and shit like so. Be prepared for a running dialogue.

My dad and I are fighting an ongoing battle over my black toenail polish. I relented and took the purple of my fingers because it's "not professional", but he wanted the black gone too. I forgot to take it off and just wore close-toe shoes instead. He gave me the eyeroll/sigh parental thing.

Coffee apparently prevents skin cancer now. Maybe all the coffee I drink will balance out all the time I spend in the sun.

I'm wondering if I should have brought a jacket. My dad didn't, but he keeps his car at around -42°. But I suppose it's a moot point because all my jackets are sweatshirts. Not "professional". But fucking comfy.

There's a building with a big sign that says 'condos'. At first glance it looked like 'condoms'.

I'm kind of killing time until it's late enough to start texting people.

Hey, look, a store with slut clothes. If I ever have a boyfriend who buys me stuff like that, he will be sleeping on the couch for a month.

My dad is taking advantage of my presence to haze all his coworkers. I've already pretended to be Rochelle Osborne, interviewing Dad about his application to the special forces and Teresa Lisbon inquiring about a job because my dad is a total Mentalist fanboy. His boss totally bought it.

Shit You Will Not Find In a Normal Office That My Father Has Laying Around:
- severed ram's head on the wall
- model of a spine that looks disturbingly real
- letter opener that looks like a knife
- sort of table looking thing...? With stuff?
- gavel on a board on a wall
- whatever the hell this thing is

Dad has a meeting, so he stuck me in an unused office and gave me a bible. I guess he forgot he had my phone, and by extension internet.

Two hours. In a room. With nothing but a bible after my phone died. (It wasn't that bad, actually.)

After Dad's meeting was over I did actual stuff that consisted mainly of printing and stapling. The printer was weird and I had to put paper in it five times over a course of around forty five minutes.

It's lunchtime and my dad's outside on his phone. It makes me want to act ten and whine "PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEE!

There is a strip club right next to my father's office.

I finished printing, stapling, and shuffling papers and now I have nothing to do. Getting up early is catching up with me. I want to go home and fall asleep. Or drink more coffee.

And then the day ends with stuff I don't want to write down because it's boring.

The end. Yay.

<3,
Lani