Monday, April 30, 2012

We Are Young

      My mother, in her quest to make me into a better daughter, has decided that I need to write Dr. F, my English teacher, "one of my little stories".

Mom: You should write him a story, to show him what he taught you!
Me: ...He taught me how to dodge pens thrown at my head.
Mom: But it would be nice to give him something as a reminder of when he taught.
Me: I am fairly sure he wants to retire to California and never see any of us again.
Mom: *death glare*
Me: *unaffected*
Mom: I remember my mother was a teacher for thirty years, and it meant the world to her when a student wrote her a little note.
Me: She wasn't a teacher like Dr. F.
Mom: She was a teacher.
Me: Did she throw desks around? Did she toss backpacks to hobos in need of fires?
Mom: ...
Me: Exactly.

     There was more to that conversation, but it was boring and consisted mainly of my mom telling me I need to show compassion for others. Apparently I'm an unsympathetic, feeling-less robot now. Actually, I'm just really sarcastic and a good liar. There's a difference.
     ANYWAYS. I may actually write something after all, but it won't be fluffy and joyful, it'll be cynical and stuff because that's how I write, thankyouverymuch. It'll still be lighthearted and pretty happy because I like the class, but my mother needs to accept that I do not write cheerful shit. End of story. But perhaps I will write down the tale of a girl in Leadership English I who actually survived her freshman year of high school.
    We'll see.
<3,
Lani
P.S. If I ever publish a collection of my flash fiction, I am going to call it "Short Stories and Some Shit". Is that weird?
P.P.S. I have a whole long blog post I need to finish about... stuff I need to finish. It should be somewhat interesting.
P.P.P.S. If you're wondering where the title came from (You weren't? You are now.), try and guess which song I'm listening to.
P.P.P.P.S. I'll shut up now.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Fictional Unvierses Are Better Than Real Life

     When I get bored, I pretend I live in fictional universes. To anyone who knows me, that is not a surprise.
     In advisory, we had to answer question for this stupid science review. It was too dark to read, so I started answering questions because the winning team got candy. It was a Jeapordy like setup. I got every question right except three that the other team got first. I felt like Hermione.
     Usually, my dad makes coffee in the mornings and I steal some of his, but he's gone so I had to make it myself. They need to make coffee machines for idiots. Seriously, I need arrows that say 'put water here' and 'this is the on button'. I was afraid I was putting the water directly on to the electromic part and it would all fizzle out and explode. After awhile, I had a Chrona moment and yelled "I don't know how to deal with this!" Then my mom had pity on me and showed me how to make coffee.
   Pottermore is open and I am officially a Slytherin! :D My wand is fir and dragon heartstring, 12 1/2 inches, unyielding. I feel so badass. I suck at making potions, though. Bleh.
<3,
Lani~

Saturday, April 14, 2012

I Have a New Mission

     My trainer has this habit of rescuing animals off the side of the road. She currently has four dogs and a handfull of cats. One of her dogs, Dyl, is the cutest thing on the planet and needs a home. Plus, he likes me. Can you see where I'm going?
     Yes, I am attempting to convince my parents I need a dog. My birthday's coming up, so I can use that, I think. Seriously though, I want a dog. I'm going to start walking the family dog Oreo more often as kind of a hint. I mean, I love Oreo and all, but he's the whole family's and I can't take him to the barn. Plus, if I can save enough for a cheapo car in a year, I can take him places and me, him, and Juliet can all go on trail rides. I'll have a horse, a dog, and the ability to take myself places. That'd be an absolute dream come true.
<3,
Lani

Random Crap and a Rant on Shakespeare

     I've been feeling kind of shitty lately. Maybe it's just that I want summer to be here already, maybe I'm just tired of having to deal with stupid people at school, or maybe my depression's creeping up on me. I'm scared to death of that last one.

     I watched myself in a theater recording today, and realized that I have a really annoying voice. Gah.

     I keep writing stuff and then not finishing it. I should stop that.

     I'm tired, can you tell? I don't know why, I've actually been going to bed at around 10:30 this week.

     I FINALLY read The Hunger Games. Don't ask me for opinions, I'm still mulling it over.

     I met a hipster today in biology. She has rainbow hair and hates things that are mainstream, even if she liked them before they were popular. I think she needs a better reason to hate things than that.
 
    In biology I am being encouraged to draw dicks in the name of science. See, we get three systems of the body and we have to draw a picture and explain how they interact. Our group got circulatory, urinary, and reproductive. Guess where my mind went. So, now my group members and I are trying to think of a way to connect all these without the sketching male genatalia, even if our bio teacher absolutely brought it on herself.

      Tybalt hisses at small children and Romeo (the one from the play, not my Romeo) can't get his shirt to stay on (not that I mind, considering his six-pack), and Mercutio is the male equivalent of The Sassy Black Friend.

     I just went on to my balcony and read Juliet's speech to Romeo aloud. That's not too weird, right?

     I don't think normal teenagers like Shakespeare this much. I love him though, he was a genius. I have this weird love for the rythm of iambic pentameter, which I try to work into my writing. I sometimes read sonnets aloud, not because I understand them, but just becasue I like the flow of the words.

     When the teacher goes "We're reading Shakespeare!" and the class goes "Ugh, Shakespeare," I'm the one weirdo who's all "Shakespeare, yeah!"

     I would love to be a Shakespearean actress someday.

<3,
Lani

Thursday, April 5, 2012

I'm a Teenage Girl. That Is My Excuse.

     So, I have an embarrassing story. If you are grossed out by girl stuff, feel free to skip this.
     Anyways, I'm on my period right now, and like absolutely every female ever, I despise it. I spew blood, I'm even bitchier than normal, and my head is just all around messed up. So, I was at school and I go to change my tampon. I'm using the super ones, mind you. I do so and leave quickly so I'm not late. I think nothing of the fact that it hurt like crap to get it in there.
     Later, I discover that I must not have taken my old one out, because, yup, there were two. Have you any idea how WEIRD that is? Ugh.
     I haven't any clue as to how it happened, but yeah. That is my embarassing story for today.
<3,
Lani

P.S. I can't believe I actually wrote about this. *embarrassed*